I REALLY hate the fax machine at work.

Check back for the DVD soon!

4 7#0$3 7#@7 R 1337

/\/0vv 1 no 7#@7 /\/\0$7 04 U vv0/\/7 g37 7#1$ but the few that do, understand.

I really feel for some odd reason the the origins of 1337 be taught. I mean it IS a freakin entirely new sublanguage that piggybacks on modern US english yet is so unique and has grown so much since the beginings of the internet that it has basicaly become its own laguage and we SHOULD teach its beginings before they are lost to the constant flood of newcomers to the web. How many people actually know about 1337 and of that how many know where it came from and what it is there for? I fear its a knowledge that could be lost with time if not brought to light...sounds like good material for a book... hmm 1337 for Dummies anyone?

$0.85

I sit here at my desk with 85 cents. 2 quarters 3 dimes and a nickel that I dug out of my work bag (that some call a man purse but its not!) and 30 min ago I was so like "i'm gonna get something to snack on but I don't have enough to eat something AND get a soda." well you know what. If I can't have a soda with my candybar, then by god I'm not having a candybar! That'll show them ...it? ...me? By god it'll show somebody!

A really REALLY really small computer...really

Like really small 2in x 2in x 2.2 in
http://www.shimafuji.co.jp/product/spacecube01.html

tiny small.

And then you learn something else

And then you learn to copy whatever it is that you typed and THEN publish it so incase the web browser has some kind of brain fart and shuts down and you lose or at least THINK you lost all the stuff that you typed. Then you can repaste it instead of going, "Crap! That was good stuff.... Now what the hell did I say again?" I chose to leave both posts up because the first post was raw thought kinda like live streaming audio and the second one was the "partialy"saved file that had to be pulled from the temporary cache in my head that was about to be deleted. Its amazing how quickly you can lose something when you "feel it" instead of "think it." Good thing we have written mediums. Funny how its called medium when it can be so much.

Thanks Mylerna

Sometimes, when your driving in your car in the middle of the night with the radio off, you reflect on your life and some little part of your past that means little to you now gets shifted in the sand, and that faded, scuffed and worn out memory gets turned over to reveal the fresh and brightly polished side that had been face down for so long and the light form it hits you right in the eye and your drawn to this new look of an old memory and its like your some third person, peering in on the moments of another person's past that they just carelessly left beside an open window, and without any attachment what-so-ever to however that person my have felt about those memories you study them as if you were some college student reading a text book about history and you say to yourself, "how could they not see it" and then you realize you are talking about yourself... and you go, "wow. I never knew. Up until now, I never even had a clue." Then you do something very important. You learn from your mistakes, and you grow up just a little.

Thanks Mylerna

Sometimes, when your driving in your car at night without the radio on and your just kinda reflecting on life, little things from your past that don't mean that much to you anymore get shifted in the sand and the part that had been face down for so long gets turned up and displays a fresh shiney sparkle that catches you right in the eye and your forced to stare at that momment in your life all over again yet from a new perspective as if you were some third peson peering into the memories of someone else who had just left them unattended by an open window... and you go "wow. I never knew. Up until now, I never even had a clue" and you do something important. You learn from your own mistakes. Then you grow up just a little bit more.

ROFLOMGWTFPWND!

This is a cool site that really hit the mark when it comes to new comic (strip) material.
http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/1999/08/13

They screwed up big time!

The Air force figured they would save money. Instead of creating CD's to send to the parties that needed the information, they just posted it on the internet and figured no one would know it was there. Well they were wrong and what they posted was all the statistics and tactical weaknesses of Air Force One. Here is a link to someone else that posted about it. http://elliottback.com/wp/archives/2006/04/page/3/

I blame Barry

Yes, Yes, I fell back into ahabit of a bad diet (atleast what I consider a bad diet), but I blame Barry, he's the reason I broke my fast and he is quick to put food in my face and then be offended if I don't eat it. Just last night he wanted me to go out to eat with him at 10 pm. I went but refused to eat, which always confuses him. Its a complete lack of respect for my choices and I'm just going to have to start hurting his feelings everytime he stands there with fast food in his outstretched hand inches from my face. I just need people to accept my diet choice regardless of how they feel about it and support me. Unfortunately the people in closest proximity of me on a regular basis will never do that. I 'm forced to start over on my diet only instead of just going with the flow I'll have to add a touch of "Piss off!" when it comes to outside intervention. Day 1, Take 1095...Action!

The Perfect Drug

I read an article online at work today that inspired to throw my 2 cents out there. Obviously, I was immediatly replied to on my post with a "you're stupid" type of remark. In reading the the posts it reminded me of the things I had learned before and helped me to realize that I keep slipping back into the habits that I have been fighting against for so long. It is our fault but we're not completly to blame. Sure its your fault to jump off a cliff, but if everyone around you says its safe and there is a flashy sign saying its fun to jump off this cliff and everyone else does it then they have to share in the blame. Its the same way here. Ofcourse most people don't want more government control, but there needs to be regultaion of some level. Unfortunatly its like calling on Dr. Frankenstien to kill his own moster after it has been let loose on the world and then hailing him as a hero and ignoring that he was the one that let the monster out in the first place. All the inner workings of government regulations and corporate lobbists and looking the other way and manipulating laws are a completly different mine field that would be great to go into discussion about but I really don't feal like writing a 1 gig text file. Besides, everyone has an opinion about something and it always seems to be the flamers that love to make a point of telling people they are wrong.
http://fray.slate.com/?id=3936&m=17341713

Planetside

I give full credit of the orginal comic to the guys at http://planetsidecomics.com/

New business

I started my new business today. The website will not be up for a few days. I buy damaged and/or unservicable computers, mainly laptops though, that people find are either too costly to repair or they simply wish to invest their money in another machine.

Breaking the fast.

Over the weekend, on the 5th day, I broke my fast. I place most of the blame on Barry for purposefully placing food and drinks around me in an attempt to get me to eat. I was was thinking about breaking my fast over the weekend sometime but I didn't want it to be to a peanutbutter and chocolate power bar. Just so you know, Barry is not the person to have around you if you are trying to diet in any way because he will always be the anti-support. He will unintentional go out of his way to get you to break your diet. Its hard to avoid being around him ALL the time because we live in the same house.
On a more positive note, even though I broke my fast, I did not gorge on food. I had one meal on Saturday and a salad on Sunday. Between Friday and Sunday I ended up losing 10 lbs. I had lost 5 lbs between Tuesday and Thursday.
I still feel good and don't feel weighed down by what I ate since I was smart and didn't over do it. Though I would have to say that my fasting has mellowed me out a bit which has affected my driving. I say this because this morning I was cut off at least 10 times on my way to work. That normally would never happen. At the same time it doesn't really bother me because, like I said, I'm more mellow now.

unexpected surprise and a good pain

Today is day 4 of my fast, and I feel great.
I'm not bouncing off the walls with joy or anything but I'm not not doubled over in hunger like a lot of you would think to be the case after 3 full days of not eating. I feel more mellow about things and it has really helped to eliminate any stress that was present. I had an unexpected surprise this morning. I put my belt on and gained an extra belt loop which means that I've dropped about an inche since I started. I enjoyed the extra loop in the mirror for a minute then adjusted it back one loop because I like the loose feeling it has now.

I finaly reached the pivot point of my fast last night. My body announced to me that it had gone from the "confused. What do I do?" stage to the "Cleaning, detoxing, fat burning" stage. It made itself very clear as I was getting ready for bed last night and one of organs began a detox cycle. Your body knows when you are about to go to sleep and prepares itself for the shutdown process of sleeping. This is when your body is able to focus all of its energy towards healing itself. My body was just so eager to begin detoxing that it started before I got into bed. It hurt pretty bad but it was localized and I new the reason for the pain so I was able to rationalize it. I also knew that the pain would be over within an hour and everything would be better in the morning so I just focused on something else and went to sleep. When I woke this morning I did feel better and am happy to know that my body's organs are getting cleaner... and yes, when your body begins its detox cycles, the toxins have to go somewhere so you begin to have some very interesting bathroom visits.

John's Fast

So I go with Barry to meet John at Steak n Shake last night and John is all like, " I am so hungry. I haven't had anything all day." You see, he figured he would fast for the day, because he felt bad about himself for the night before. He ate an entire pizza by himself and most of a 2-liter Sprite. He went the whole day without eatting and then got to Steak n Shake and DECIMATED a sandwhich with fries and chili and a Sprite. He said he doesn't know much about fasting but he knows enough to not want to do it again. Ofcourse, Barry had to instantly jump in saying how fasting is bad for you and it robs your body of protien and muscle and your eating your own body and its one of the worst things you could do to yourself. (His vast knowledge coming from one or two bodybuilder magazine articles that he might have read 4 years ago. The rest just blind assumption.)I said a few things in protest but then just let him go with his speech because I've tried to explain it to him before but he never listens and takes whatever he says to be practicaly written in the Bible. So I didn't talk to John about fasting because first I don't like to preach to people. I just give them information if they ask and may tell them how it is helping me, and second, I didn't want to get in a debate with Barry, because that always turns into me just wanting to say he's stupid, so instead I just spin off the topic with a "Whatever" and move on to something else.He was probably just mad because he wanted me to try some "power bar" that he was pushing on me earlier that day and I said no because I hadn't eaten all day and wasn't going to ruin it right then.

Some people tend to find it slightly offending to not eat with them. I went to Steak n Shake but just sat there and enjoyed the conversation. You don't have to eat just because your going out with people, but its become part of our programing to the point that if someone says they don't want to eat, it can become awkward. Oh well, whatever.

Happy Thursday

Hello all.

Just logging in some work and figured I would write down what was in my head. When fasting, there many different obstacles that you have to clear. Chemical detox and cravings and all that but what is one of the hardest parts to me is the wait. It takes days, or even weeks to complete a fast and we are so programed to eat regularly and to enjoy eating that even when we have nothing better to do or are bored or tired or want to celebrate something or just take a break, we eat. It could be an overflowing plate of Chinese food or a Hamburger and fries or even just some Lance Snack Crackers, but the point is we fill our empty time with eating. Well, when your fasting your not eating which means every time you reach an empty point in the day that you would normally hit the vending machine, your just sitting there, thinking about NOT thinking about the vending machine. For the first couple weeks your programing is still running off the old cycles that your body followed and when they hit your brain and your brain says, "Invalid Entry. Contact System Administrator" and since the the old pattern of cycles is basicly running on a true/false mechanisim, they interpret the not going to eat as a false and keep sending the signal over and over again which bombards your brain with these messages. At first these messages can be annoying and then quickly become so overpowering that the only thing you can think about is that fact that your not eating but your body is telling you to eat but your still not eating and it just continues in a loop of your debating with yourself over why you should or should not eat. You can get the shakes, headaches, blurred vision, and countless other things but if you think about it, that isn't because your depriving yourself of food. Drug addicts go through the exact same cycles. Its just chemicals running on cycles that they have become accustomed to. Now really, are you going to let a few chemicals in your body control your life. The human mind has the abilty to push the human body beyond its boundaries of saftey. The body doesn't like this and will fight back with countless chemical combinations in an attempt to subdue the mind but with enough will power you can do anything if you put your mind to it.

Anyway, the wait. The long long long wait filled with empty points in the day where you would have been eatting. Now you have to find something to do other than eat so that you can take your mind off of it. Ever been so busy all day that you just forget to eat? Then at the end of the day your still not thinking about it until you see a fast food place then BAM your hungry. Its like that.

So now I have a whole bunch of time on my hands that I have to do something with so I'm not as bored... Blogging sounds like a good idea.

Its so great how you login to only type one or two sentences and it just unfolds into a few paragraghs.

I know I know...blah blah blah. Its my choice and I won't die.

I got bored yesterday and needed to make a decision on SOMETHING so I decided to fast for an undetermined amount of time. I figure I'll fast until I just can't stand it anymore just to see how long I can go without any food (call it a controled expiriment) or for 2 weeks which is when my friend Billie and I have planned to go out for dinner. She will be coming off of her juice diet at that time and getting ready to visit family down in Florida. So until that time: Water and vitamins.

I know what your thinking. Just read this:
http://www.freedomyou.com/fasting_book/Fasting%20_vs_starvation.htm

mid-day bristle

When was the last time you brushed your teeth after lunch? The feeling alone is worth doing it. Just keep a toothbrush and a travel sized tube of toothpaste in a little bag in your desk and after lunch, go take over the bathroom for a few minutes. Not only is it healthy, its also a good excuse to take a break from your desk, and you spend the next hour licking your teeth and going "ahhhh."

a friend's pain

My friend's mother is going through some hard times at the moment. She is taking chemo and several medications, and it seems that it may be causing her mind to slip. This is causing a lot of worry for my friend and I in turn, I worry for her. I know how it feels to see a loved one slip off and all to quickly become a different person from the one you've known them to be your whole life. They are the same person, yet weaker. The pillar of strength and safety they once represented to you are worn away with time and are replaced. You begin to lend them a hand and use your strength to watch for them just as they did when you were young. At times like these you realise what it means to be an adult. To be grown up. You realize many things. Though I can relate, I can never feel what my friend is feeling during these times, and for that all I can offer is my support and my sympathy for Mylerna and her mother and hope that things become better soon.

Get a clue lady

OK. Picture this. I'm in my office all by myself. Practicaly everyone else on this side of the BUILDING tries to leave between 2:30 pm and 4pm. I get a call... from a clinic. Roughly, this is how the coversation went.

Lady1: "Hello. I need 'Paper A."
Me: "Ok. Let's see if I can help. ... Sorry don't see that in the system."
Lady1: blah blah "oh well it was just done on friday so it 's probably not ready yet. Thank you."
2 minutes later...
Lady2: "Hey, I need PaperA."
Me: Someone from your office just asked for PaperA."
Lady2 : "I know but I need it."
Me: "Its not ready"
Lady2: "Why not?"
Me: " I don't know. thats not my department. Maybe because it was done on friday."
Lady2: "Can you have it ready for me today?"
Me: "I have no control over it."
Lady2: " When will it be ready."
Me: "I have no idea."
Lady2: "ok"

2 minutes later...

Lady3: "Hey I need PaperA"
Me: "2 other ladies have asked for it and its not ready."
Lady3: "I know but I'm their manager and I need it."
Me: "I understand but that doesn't make it ready."
Lady3: " Can you have it ready today?"
Me: "I have no control over it."
Lady3: "Let me speak to someone else in your office."
Me: "I'm the only one here."
Lady3: "Where is your manager?"
Me: " She left at 2:30."
Lady3: " So how can I get this paper?"
Me: "I DON'T KNOW."
Lady3: " When will it be ready?"
Me: "I DON'T KNOW."
Lady3: "Who can I talk to?"
Me: "Try the department that handles that paperwork."
Lady3: "What is their number?"
Me: "I don't know."
Lady3: "Then how do I reach them?"
Me: "Ask the operator."
(transfered to Operator)

60 seconds later...

Lady2: " Hey I need PaperA"
Me: " I told Lady1 and Lady3 that its not ready."
Lady2: " Oh, Lady1 called? hrmm well we all need it by tomorrow morning."
Me: "Its not ready yet. It was done on Friday and its not in the system. I can only give what is in the system. "
Lady2 to Lady3: "He said it was done on Friday, but its not in the system.
Lady3 to Lady2: "Ask him when we can get it."
Lady2: " When can we get it?"
Me: " I don't know. Thats not my department. I have no control over it."
Lady2 to to Lady3: "He said he has no control over it."
Lady3 to lady2: " Ask him would we need to talk to."
Lady2: "Who do we need to talk to?"
Me: "That department."
Lady2 to Lady3: "That department."
Lady3 to lady2: "Whats the number?"
Lady2: "Whats the number?"
Me: "I don't know. Ask the operator."
(Tranfered to operator)

60 seconds later...
Lady1: "Hey I need PaperA."
Me: "I just told Lady2 and Lady3 everything they needed to do to get PaperA."
Lady1: " Ok. So what do I do?"
(Transfered to operator)

30 seconds later...

Lady3: "What is the number for the operator?"

Technology. The Anti-Evolution

I know there are plenty of people that do not believe in evolution and and just as many that would defend it to the death but this is my spin for the moment.

Assuming evolution...

Of all the creatures in the world that have evolved and spread or died out, one thing is the same. Basicaly it fell down to either the race was able to adapt to their surroundings or not. If they adapted, numbers grew and they kept living. If not, then they exist only in a book somewhere. This was the rule until humans came along. At first, our bodies got bigger, arms stronger, legs faster. We adapted to our surroundings or we migrated, but then something new happened. Our brains got stronger. Our understanding of our surroundings became more indepth until finaly the question changed from, "How can I adapt to my surroundings?" to, "How can I adapt my surrounds to me?" At that point man-kind stopped moving along the customary line of evolution and embarked on a new path, blazing a trail that would only be followed by the rest of man-kind. As far back as recorded history, we have had tools of some kind. Our tools have changed thousands of times and gotten faste, stronger, lighter, and better, yet we are roughly exactly the same physicaly as we have been since the begining of that recorded history. Now, we don't evolve. Our technology evolves. To some degree, we almost have de-evolved. Take the appendix. It went from a required part of our body in order to function to simply a sac that just collects poisons from within you body your whole life, but has nowhere to put them. If it ever rupturs, it has to be cut out immediatly our else you will die. Argueably, in a few generations, we won't even have an appendix anymore.
We aquire knowledge and build upon it. We cheat evolution by writing it all down so we don't have to learn it again. Our distances of travel became too far so we made vehicles. Our lines of communication became too slow so we invented phones and Television and the internet. Our food, our shelter, our ability to learn, travel, communication, practically everyting about us can be controled or modified to adapt to whatever we want. With few exeptions, we will never evolve as race. The only thing left to give evolution even a chance at adjusting us is sports. Sports are the only thing that we as a race have that is specificaly designed to play upon the limitations of our bodies. We created an environment in which we must act without technology. In this realm it is truly the faster, stronger, better people that win. Our athletes will evolve. Our athletes will become taller. They will be able to run faster, jump higher, and swim without air longer. They will be able to endure longer stretches of "battle."You will see our sports begin "updating" the rules because the limitations that were previously set just aren't limitaions anymore. It will almost become a sub-race of humans for each sport there is. Those geneticly predisposed to these athletic events will continue to evolve to adapt to the sport they they play. I'm not talking people with elephant noses and bird people. I'm talking about all-stars and heros. The Michael Jordans and Dale Earnhardts. The people that go so far beyond the standards of the sport that they play that they redifine the sport. We will all survive and grow but only they will evolve. They will become things that we only wish we could be until finaly they are so far out of reach by the common person that they will be given a new classification. For now, they are called heros, and legends, and allstars. With time they will be given a name more powerful. They will become an entirely seperate race, and we will be there every teeny tiny step along the way changing the rules and resetting the limitations in an attempt to make the game more challenging which makes the game for fun which forces the players to constantly become even faster, ever stronger, and even better. Better... they will be better, but only at that sport and maybe a few things that translate into the same goals. They will be people. They will roughly look the same as all of us, but they will still be set apart because they will be something the rest of us will never become. Just remember though, they only became that way because we asked, "What can we do to make it adapt to our goals?", and they asked, "What can we do to survive?"

the world is taking a nap?

I'm here at work and its raining outside. I only know this because the copy room has a window. They normally don't allow windows in Medical record offices. I, like a lot of people, like it when it rains. Its hard to explain though, without giving some generic goth-like answer. Its daytime, but its dimmer. Your eyes don't have to adjust so your first veiw of it is easier than direct sunlight. The rain creates that white noise that most of us like to have around. The pattering of the droplets hitting the puddles over and over again and the occasional wind creating small waves seem like something that could be watched forever. Even thought the rain is constantly falling in the same place, its always a new rain drop falling in just a slightly different way. Generaly predictable yet specificaly random. Then there is the lightning. Of all the violence on TV and in the movies, and of all the things that have desensitized us, a good crack of lightning close to us can still make our hearts jump and get our adrenaline running. That is power, beautiful chaotic power. The rain helps remind us of something. It helps us interact with the world and with nature. Its like the world stretches out this huge hand and it is petting us like we are a cat. Rain and storms can be harsh and unforgiving, but they are always unbiased. There is no descrimination. It will rain on anyone willing to step out into it. It helps to wash the day away. When it rains, more than just water flows. I part of you flows, too. It helps to bring you in, and remember yourself and those close to you. The joy of rain has been lost to a lot of youth today with the ease of the internet and television to take our minds away from the outside world. I can remember when I was a child growing up, the rain was like a presidential speech. When it was on, it was on every channel, and you either watched it with your whole family or whole family did something to pass the time, but whatever your choice, the important part back then was that the family did it together. Rain was like that. There was no avoiding it. There was no turning it off of zoning it out. If you didn't want to stare at the rain, you broke out the boardgames or the cards and you did something together. Even though the rain was outside, it was that very water that created the conduit in which you connected. I can still remeber rainy days as a child and thats why. They are exactly the same as they were back then. They look the same. They feel the same. The water is still cool and refreshing. I still get a tingle up my spine when I first step out into it and soaked. I think it would be so great to see people all dressed up in golashes and rain coats outside the office jumping up and down in the puddles and laughing with each other. Laughing. Rain can make you laugh. When was the last time you laughed in the rain? Looking up seeing the rain coming down from the sky and closing yours eyes just before the droplets splash on your cheeks and a little bit of the splash tickles your nose and you look down for a second to let the water drop off you face and open your eyes a little and grin really big and you look back up with your eyes closed and you open your mouth and laugh. Laugh at how great it feels to be alive, and standing in the rain without a single care in the world and, for a precious few moments, you are a kid again... and you have permission to splash in as many puddles as you want because when you are done and your nose is a little numb, you can go back inside and there is you mom waiting at the door with a big fluffy towel fresh out of the dryer and she wraps it around you and dries off your wet hair and wipes off your face and that big fuzzy warm towel brushes up against your cold nose and wakes your face back up and it is just a feeling of peace and security and warth and happiness that you never forget. Even if it didn't happened to you, after reading this you will never forget, because for the last few moments, you were that kid, and you knew how it felt to laugh in the rain. That is why I like it. That is why everytime I see it raining outside, I stop by the window and take a moment to watch before I continue with my day. Before I go back to my voicemail messages and my e-mails and my paperwork and my flouresent light bulbs and my computer screen. Before I grow back up. I think I'm going to buy some Golashes today.

Eagle, Snake, and a shaved goat

Its starting to warm up around here. This weekend was Spring Forward for Daylight Savings. I have descided to add some martial arts training into my diet to get my heart going and my blood flowing. I some eagle and some snake techniques which on paper appear very simple. there is very little movement involved. The hard part is the positions you are in when the no movement part starts. I had forgotten how easy it was to break a sweat by simply standing in place. Well, after doing my forms, I was rather hot and was going to take a shower when I decided that now would be the best time to shave. You see, I shave my body atleast twice a year with the seasons and it is such a wonderful change of pace. Everything feels so different for the first few days that its like wearing new skin. Ofcource I wouldn't recommend this to everyone. If you knew me, you would understand.

Kung fu and spoons

This weekend I drove up to Tenn. to hang out with some Kung-fu buddies and we did a work out and then later we went to eat at a favorite Mexican place, then drank some beer and sat around that night and played spoons on the floor. We had to play to play on the floor be My buddies table had been broken from a previous game of spoons and he didn't want more damage on his hands.

12 ounce Vs Half Pitcher.