I slowly let this ball unwind

As I slump within my chair
at the wall I sit and stare
a growing thought develops within my mind

From the places dark and cold
and mememories stale and old
I slowly let this ball unwind.

Along the path of my dealings
with this mass of thought and feelings
I try to discover what presides

Within my brain a growing being
malcontent with what he's seeing
this aborition is not merely along for the ride

It grows within me like a stem
branching out upon its whim
its roots too old to destroy

a culmination of my days
a cataloge of my ways
every act since I was just a boy

Not laid out and organized
and in no way prioritized
just a messy wad of papers within a drawer

and breaks free a list of jots
of old and faded "what if's" and "why not's"
I watch as it swagers down onto the floor

I read the list but feel no pain
why should I with nothing to gain
for feeling bad about events I've left behind

I reminiss
of what Ive missed
and slowly let this ball unwind