a dark desk

I'm sitting here. My back to the the rest of the hotel room. A dimly lit corner with the shadow of the rest of the room leaning towards me. Every room is the same so even though I have been in different rooms here for the past month, it still feels older, comfortable, lonely. Nothing here but a TV that never has anything good on its 60 somthing channels and a pool that is always empty. I enjoyed the empty pool for the first few weeks. Enjoyed the solitude. The joy faded though. Now I just sit in my room. The only thing down here of any late night intrest is a Wal-Mart. I've walked it a few times when I needed something but ... well you can only do that so many times before that loss its flavor, also.
I brought my computer this time. I needed to get out somehow. The network at the hospital is restricted so you can't search anything of any interest. I went through some old pictures and found this one. I miss being that person. I try and try and try to be like that person again and again but every time I try and fail, then it just gets worse. This is my last week down here in Lagrange. On Friday I have to pack everything the company ownes and just leave. Thats kinda sad, almost. Its not me that has to go, its the company, but that includes me, and I am the face of the company for them. Its bittersweet I guess. They like me, but I have to go.

Its raining. Hard, heavy rain. The ladies talked about this summer. They said it will probably be a hot one. I said we will probably see lots of floods. Heh, floods and then it starts raining today. Good timing.